Weekend Fun

Hope everyone had a great weekend, mine was a blast.

Started out Friday at the Cubs game. The good thing about that was the beautiful weather & hanging out with my Dad & brother Jeff, afternoon beers & hotdogs. The game was terrible, of course, and ended with just about the entire 40,000 fans booing. Now, I'm not one of those fans that taunts players from my team if they make a bad play, but I'll admit I felt like booing too. You can only take so much crap, you know?

Anyhow, the rest of the weekend was spent hanging out on the deck, grilling and hanging with some friends. The only thing that put a damper on the weekend was the discovery of these
a-holes hovering around. From my skilled research on the internet, I think we have bald-faced hornets, which are really a type of wasp, allegedly. They are huge, about the size of one of those big, fat, honeybees, at least 1-2 inches long and beefy looking. I'll try to get a picture later.

They didn't really attack us, but you could tell they had their eyes on us & were definitely trying to intimidate us. I'm not sure what to do. I'm afraid to bring baby out there & we are having a baby shower out there in 2 weeks. I think it may be time to call in the professionals. I've never dealt with exterminators, I wonder how much they cost?

Oh the joys of property ownership! I want to call the landlord!

Summer fashions

I just love it!

Got the ole summer clothes out of storage today. Twas a real shock, since I hadn't really worn them in 2 years. I spent last summer in the oh-so-lovely maternity fashions. Tried to see what still fit. Not much fit up past the ole thighs. Ah, the tragedy. Those cute clothes deserve to be worn, damnit! Can't button any of the bottoms, & all my shirts are too short due to the baby boobs issue. Damn these big boobs! (Never thought I'd say that....)

I was going to go shopping tomorrow. I'm not sure what's going on with the fashions today. Seems like a lot of shirts are the sort of drop waisted 80's style, some with a little ruffle on the bottom. Which is great if you're , say, Mischa Barton on the OC. Not so great if you just gave birth, or have any sort of normal-shaped body.

Oh, and leggings are back! I agree this can be cute, but then you have to wear it with one of those long shirts and now we're back to that problem. I'll admit I was a little excited to see them showing long shorts again. I never felt comfortable in those short shorts. Just a personal thing. I don't really like shorts at all, I prefer skirts anyhow.

Which leads me to the jean skirt dilemma. Of course I can't fit into my 2 cutest jean skirts (OK, well I fit, but it ain't pretty). So all the dang skirts are approximately 6 inches long. I picked one up and really thought it was a belt. I live in the jean skirt....I must find one (knee-length, A-line or pencil will do, let me know if you see any).

Oh, and sandals. I need sandals. Is it possible to lose weight in your feet? Some sort of foot-diet? (Only if it let's me eat chocolate for every meal of every day like the ones on TV).

Maybe I need to stop shopping in the Juniors section- it would make my mom so happy...

Well it turns out I'm not going shopping anyway, I'm going to the Cubs game with my brother Jeff. Should be equally depressing. I felt like a bad mom today because I dressed E. in a Cubs outfit. At least it fit.

HA!

Ok, this is it, I promise. Then I will be done with the whole fiasco.

Some lady tells off Brandon Davis.

Why do I even care?

Oh the horror!

Have you seen the video? You know, the one of Paris & Brandon Davis? Well, if not, here it is. I really don't know what to say about it...I'm actually kinda speechless. I find myself nauseated after watching his little performance. He must really think he's something special. It must be nice to be a mult-millionaire courtesy of your grandfather & never have to work a day in your life. To call a woman that makes 7 million dollars "poor"..... all I can say is, "Wow." What a gentleman. Time to use some of that money for charm school, Brandon, you prick.

Now for the Britney beat: I haven't updated the celeb page in a while. Yes, I know this. Hopefully D. will help me move it to a Blogger format, but I don't really think I have the time to update 2 blogs anways (not that anyone cares). First it was the baby-driving-lap controversey, then Sean P. took a tumble out of his high chair. This week he was photographed facing forward in the back of the convertible ( a no-no) & today she dropped him again. (Ooops, I... oh nevermind) Yes, it seems bad. In her defense, I will say that there is quite a lot to learn about motherhood. I would hate it if the media reported every goof I've done over the last 5 months. ( "This just in, breaking news.....Laura dropped a poopy baby wipe directly on her daughter's face! I repeat, it was a poopy wipe that landed directly on her face!") I hope she's learning from her mistakes, since it looks like another Federline *****shudder****** is on the way. I'll give her one more credit also: looks like she actually spends some time w/ her baby, which is more than I can say for a lot of other celebs.

That being said, I do feel drawn to purchase a Save Sean Preston tee. Oh and he has a blog too, which is probably a lot more entertaining than mine. Gotta admit the lil' bugger is cute.

Finale

Does everything have to be sooooo dramatic! Does every last episode have to include someone being shot? Did you see the OC? Is Marissa really dead? Why didn't Ryan use his cellphone? Am I the only one who watches this crap? So many questions...

This time of year is always so annoying to me, especially when a show is going off the air. For months ahead of time we are subjected to the cast everywhere....talk shows, radio, the internet you name it. How many times have you seen that Will & Grace commercial where they are bowing *gag*. Oh Debra Messing, how do you feel? What will you do? However will you cope? PUHLEEEEZE. Then a show that is actually wonderful, smart & funny, say Arrested Development gets scooped up into a plastic bag like yesterdays dog crap.

Now 7th Heaven is coming back? Why God, why must you torture us? I'll admit to occasionally watching it, mostly because the acting is so bad it's good, and the fact that it upsets Devin so much. "These people get paid to be THIS BAD?" Heh heh.

So I don't know if you've been following American Idol or not. If not, good for you. It's a serious time-waster. Thank God for Tivo, or I would actually have to sit through the painfully long, drawn-out oh-so-dramatic elimination round each week. Ok, and yeah, I'll admit, I do fast forward a song or two along the way.

I mean, the show has been on at least twice a week since February. That's a big committment, don't you think? Good thing I don't have anything better to do, or THEY'D BE SORRY! Then I'd show them.

Well after all of this drama, and the lame songs, and the horrifyingly bad Ford Focus commercials, what are we left with? Nobody. Acutally, I can't say that. We have two contestants left. If you aren't watching (again, good for you) I'll describe the final two:
The Girl:
She's pretty cute and seems to have a nice voice. Not really my cup of tea & for some reason Devin can't stand her. I'm not exactly sure why. She has a tendendy to oversing things, & when she sings upbeat songs.... well, it's not that great.

The Dude:
Pretty sure he went to high school with my Dad, I think I recognize him from the Morton West Class of 1962 yearbook. He says, "Woooo!" and "Soul Patrol!" a lot. Again, not really my cup of tea. He sounds like Michael McDonald, & I've never been a huge fan.

I'm not sure if we're even going to watch. Of course they have to drag it out for 2 days, bastards. At least it will all be over. I can spend my time on the deck watching the rats play in the alley, which should be more entertaining than what I normally watch on Tv...

Happy Mother's Day

To me! (and to everyone else too) I'm so happy I could just burst. I feel like it's all a dream (but don't you have to sleep to dream?). We had a great day today, hangin' with the grandparents, aunts & uncles. This here --------------------------->
is one well-loved baby.

Devin gave me a certificate for an hour long massage at a spa. I've never had a professional massage before, but I expect it to be pretty great. He also got me a gift cert to Urban, some Ethel's cocktail-flavored chocolates, & is taking me to see Spelling Bee at Drury Lane. What an awesome husband I have, n'est pas?

Tiny E gave me her present in the form of sleeping until 10:45 am. What a doll. Can anyone be luckier than me? I doubt it.

Hey Dusty,

You rusty.

You're fired.

Sincerest regards,
kroushlconflict

MÖLKKY

Summer is in the air, and to me that means one thing: MÖLKKY
OK, I guess summer means more than just that. For those of you that don't know about Molkky, (pronounced Muil-kuh, or something like that) let me explain. It's a game from Finland, and Christine seems to have the only set here in the states.

It's played by using a piece of wood to knock down other pieces of wood with numbers. It's a little more complicated than that, but all you need to know is that it is the best game ever. I thought it would be good to have on our vacation. Finally, a game where I can dominate over my very tall, athletically-inclined younger brothers!

Alas, there seems to be some sort of Molkky embargo in the US. You can't buy it anywhere! It's hard to imagine, in these times where anything you desire is just a mouse click away. I found a cool Finnish site where it is sold; they even sell Molkky medals! How cool would that be? And hats, too. I should have kept in touch with that Finnish foreign exchange student I taught at Paw Paw. Guess we will just have to make our own set.

Since there was talk of bar-b-que, DeKalb style, how about a little Molkky tournament also?? Who's in?

You Killed Kenny!

Ok, what the hell has happened to Kenny Rogers? Have you seen him lately? This...is....horrifying. I guess this is a prime example of why you shouldn't get plastic surgery. There's a chance you can come out of it looking, not better, just like a completely different person.

Maybe if you're Kenny Rogers the thought of looking like a completely different person may seem appealing. Call me a traditionalist, but I like my Kenny the old way, rugged and crotchety.

Did he think he could get away with it? Did he think we wouldn't notice? Did he think that we wouldn't want to find the person that did this to him and MAKE HIM PAY????? And what of the Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers? Did he even think of their feelings? We were going to send them a pic of Bobo's dad. Now I don't know. Does he even qualify anymore? Is nothing sacred????

We had the good fortune of seeing Kenny pre-op at the Taste of Chicago a few years ago. I like seeing bands at the Taste, especially ones that aren't that crowded. If you sneak in through the northwest entrance, there's a beer stand with no line and plenty of spots to chill on the lawn and soak up the music. I believe that was the first year I brought my Festeenis. If you're not familiar with that, let me explain.

As everyone must know, it is really raunchy to use the port-o-lets at a fest. Guys have it easier than us gals. We are required to hover over the disgusting toilet seat, which can be really challenging. There's usually a pole in there, which would be great to hold onto if you're into e-c0li. I designed a device that allowes women to stand while peeing, just like the boys. It's basically a cone-shaped water cooler cup with a straw protruding from the tip. It works really well. You have to be a little careful, as the cone fills up faster than the straw can drain. I'm still working out the kinks...the Festeenis II will be new and improved. But back to the Kenny show.

It was a really good show, if you're into that sort of thing. He really is kind of a dick. During his performance of "Lucille" he kept stopping and saying, "For GOD SAKES STOP SWAYING!" I remember seeing him on David Letterman years ago; Dave had him do a blind taste test of chicken from his "Kenny Rogers Roasters" restaurant & cafeteria chicken. When it was revealed that he picked the cafeteria chicken to be better tasting, he kinda had a fit. He's so cantankerous, I just love it.

We can only hope that this new look doesn't change his salty attitude. Might I suggest a few tweaks to an old classic I like to rock at Karaoke at the Chip Inn...

"On a warm summer's evenin' on a train bound for nowhere, I met up with a gambler;
We were both too tired to sleep. So we took turned a starin'
Cuz I can't close my eyes now
Boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.
He said, "Son I've made a life, out of readin' people's faces,
And knowin' what their cards are by the way they held their eyes
So if you don't mind me sayin' I can see you're full of botulism
For a shot of your botox, I'll give you some advice."

My new addiction

Step aside cigarettes & beer, there's a new vice in town. No, it's not crystal meth, as you may have thought. Shame on you! It's....

Buying baby clothes.

Yeah, I know. Very lame. I was going over the finances, trying to tighten things up. Cheap ass Chicago Public Schools with their unpaid maternity leave leaves me, well, unpaid. Looking over our bank statement, one finds the usual- bills, Jewels, the random purchase at Microcenter. Then a large amount of charges at Gymboree, BabyGap & other fine retailers. Yikes! I must say, however, that I've been pretty good about changing my ways.

I was at Psychobaby last weekend. I needed to get this new Skiphop diaperbag. Yes, the new Expo model, with the expandable bottom, in olive. It hangs on the stroller and is completely practical. It's really improved my life. It was a proud moment for me, as I passed on buying this and this. But $21 for a baby t-shirt? I couldn't justify it. Especially since she's growing so fast, and often only wears something for a few times before outgrowing it. What restraint!

On the other hand, it is my only child, and doesn't she deserve to have a cute shirt or two? NO, she is just as happy in a Carter's onesie from Kohls. I just keep telling myself that. On second thought, summer is coming and she doesn't really have any summer clothes. She's going to need a bathing suit, and some more little dresses. Wouldn't you just die if she wore this?

No, I think I better just go to Kohl's. I could get 6 outfits for that price. They'd still be cute, just not as cute as that dress. Oh the drama! Like I said, I've got problems. Can't you see my dilemma? It's like I have two little tiny babies, one on each shoulder. One is wearing a nice, pink sleeper with a giraffe and says, "Tiny E is a beautiful, well-loved child and doesn't need a $60 dress. Hell, you don't even have a $60 dress." The other is wearing a kick-ass cowgirl dress with vintage horsie fabric and says, "Elliot! What a RAAAAD baby!" I'm trying to do my best to listen to sensible, giraffe-clad baby.

Right. But if we end up going to Ravinia to see The "New" Cars & Blondie, I'll have to buy that Blondie tee shirt. Won't I?

Frat boy vet

Yes, I do have a nickname for every person I deal with in my life. His name's Kyle for goodness sakes, and I think he's 16. The best name we can come up with for the pediatrician is Mini-Harold Ramis...doesn't really have that special catchy tone to it. We'll keep working on it (Mini Hay-Ray? Nah.).

Well I took Ming to see the Frat-boy vet yesterday. His thyroid was enlarged, so he either suspected hyperthyroidism (guess he takes after me) or feline diabetes. I am pleased to announce, however, that his majesty has slimmed down to a dreamy 17 lbs! That's as small as he's been since, oh I don't know, he was about 4 months old. Well, practically. It's a full 10 lbs. lighter than he was at his heaviest, about 4 years ago. Yes, he was 27 lbs. We wore the same size shirts. No seriously, he fit into them(widthwise, not lengthwise that is).

Dr. Kyle called today to confirm that the bloodwork shows no signs of diabetes or hyperthyroidism. That's great news, because I hadn't relished the thought of giving my cat daily injections. Bad news is that we need to further investigate his erratic behavior & uncharacteristic weight loss. Next step is abdominal X-Rays. That should be great. Wish us luck.