Ever feel like a dumbass?

My injuries this year

1. April 2007- Sliced open my right index finger while opening a can of gravy. I won't ever regain the ability to bend that finger. Nice.

2. June 2007- Took a line drive foul ball off the right knee at a Cubs game. My entire leg was yellow, purple, green for over a week and I was limping. I was wearing my mitt at the time.

3. July 2007- Took a bite out of a Beddar with Cheddar (sic) sausage and shot hot cheese juice up my nose. Yes, that's right. I burned the inside of my nose with hot cheese juice. It even had a scab.

Daily trivia

Question: How many italian beef sandwiches can a pregnant woman eat in a typical 5-day work week?

Answer: Four

I guess since I'm off work for the summer, I don't really have a work week. Unless you consider eating beef sandwiches a job, which would be pretty good work if you can get it.

Maybe the real question should be how many beef sandwiches SHOULD a pregnant woman eat in a 5 day work week. I'm guessing the answer to that would be a number smaller than four...maybe closer to zero.

I just can't stop myself, what can I do? I've been able to choke down a few measly shreds of lettuce from a salad so I don't feel so totally guilty. I'm gonna give birth to that doofus from that Supersize Me documentary.

I think the problem is that the sandwich is just a medium for the hot giardiniera. Perhaps if I can find another vehicle for my hot pepper fixation, I can lay off the beef. But on what else does one use giardiniera as a condiment? I can't think of anything except maybe a frozen cheese pizza (oooohhhhhh), but I don't think that's really the healthy option I've been searching for.

I'm going to try to make it a whole week without one, wish me luck.

Blech

There's so much crap I want to comment on. Lucky for you, I have been still feeling a wee bit under the weather and have forsaken my blog for the lure of the couch.

Taking the ole' volvo out for a good old fashioned family vacation tomorrow. We broke down and bought the fancy portable DVD player so Beanz can watch Ernie & Bert in the car. Never thought I'd be the parent to placate the child with videos... but an 8 hour car ride is still an 8 hour car ride and we must somehow survive it. I swear, parenting was so easy before I actually had a child.....

Hope everyone is enjoying the summer. I'll be back soon to wow you all with all the drama from our whirlwind tour of Missouri.

Go Cubs!