Kids say the darndest things

I've been keeping track in a notebook of all the cute things Ellie says. I thought it would be fun to look back at in the years to come.

Some recent gems:

1. We have these Roll-a-round balls from Fisher Price. For some reason she calls them "Whiskey Balls". Yes, we are good influences on her.

2. Lady in store: "Is that your brother?"
Ellie: Yes. He has orange boogers in his ear."

3. Daddy's not home tonight, he's at graham cracktice (I think that's band practice where they eat graham crackers instead of playing instruments.)

4. (looking at a nudie picture of Edison in the tub) "Whoah, he's got a BIG BUTT there in front!"


P.S. Is anyone watching this Cubs game!!!! Holy crap!

Ostrich feathers, anyone?

I'm a simple girl with simple needs. It takes very little to make me laugh. A lil' gold lame (don't know how to put the accent over the last letter to make it spell la-may) and some good ole fashioned 80's hair will do the trick for me.

This may have already made it's way around the internet, but it may be my favorite video of all time. Chris B. hadn't seen it yet, so I feel confident that sharing it with you won't be redundant. It's long... you must watch at least the first fashion part. It's worth it. Without further ado I give you:

Young and the Restless star Brenda Dickson's house tour and fashion show (circa 1987) in all its glory.

Enjoy!

The road

I've been doing a lot of driving lately, what with the cheap price of gasoline, how could I not? Back and forth to my parents, househunting, & most recently the hour and a half drive back from the children's museum in Glenview today. Stop and go traffic will give one time to ponder, ponder, ponder, what is wrong with people?

So I give you my list, painstakenly researched, completely biased, & utterly true. Perhaps you drive one of these cars? Well, of course, there are exceptions to every rule. You may consider yourself the exception. But most likely, you should just be a better driver.

Car & Driver Magazine's (okay Laura's) List of the worst-offending drivers:


1. BMW- far and away, always and forever cutting me off. Never the hand wave. Really rude driving here.

2. Teal cars- I've blogged about this in my old blog, (sorry, I can't link to it directly) but people in teal colored autos are just crazy! Doesn't matter which make, but double thumbs down points if it's a Cavalier.

3. Porsche SUV- don't know what they are called, but there are a plethora of them in our neighborhood and they ALL suck. Bastards.

4. "Souped up" Honda Civics- with spoilers. And megabass. It's a Honda doofus. I don't know if you've checked lately, but the Civic's a sensible car, not a drag racer. I don't care how many stripes you put on the side.

5. Former cop cars- usually Crown Victorias. Just because your car used to be used in high speed chases does not mean you should drive like you are still in hot pursuit.

6. Cabs- All of them, but particularly minivan cabs or ones that are blasting lite jazz for some reason.

7. Any car with a Baby Phat cat logo, Calvin pissing on anything, or Mary of Guadalupe emblazoned on it.

8. Ford Focus (Foci?)- Sorry, but it's true. I haven't noticed it in the wagon model, however.

9. Pickup trucks piled more than 3 feet high with scrap metal. You know, the ones that make you start humming the Sanford & Son theme song and are always parked in your alley in front of your garage spot.

10. Cars with a trash bag in place of one of the windows. You know the bag has been there a while because it's all tattered from the wind and dirty. But I can hardly blame them, I mean, they can't see out of their window!

Ah, whew. Had to get that off my chest. Please people, let's get serious here. Copies of Rules of the Road are available at any DMV if you need to brush up. Like my Dad always said, driving a vehicle is a privilege, not a right. And yes, he did always say "vehicle".

Please help

If you ever see me:
a. doing the running man
b. dancing wildly to "Bust A Move"
c. double fisting the Chardonnay
d. partying like it's 1999
-OR-
e. all of the above

Please stop me.

Oy. I gave myself a lovely Mother's Day present this year- the all-day hangover. I guess it had been well over a year since I've cut loose like I did at the wedding Saturday. Sunday found me in a world of hurt. We had to clean the house and get out by 10:30 am for a last-minute showing. (They ended up bidding on a place in Oak Park anyhow) Add that to the fact it was 40 degrees and crazy wind and rain and it shaped up to be a pretty miserable morning for me.

The wedding was lovely, though, and it was even better to see all our friends that we don't spend enough time with. Even better was the Cubs sweep of the D'Backs this weekend. Even better than that was spending my Mother's Day with my loving family.

But, oh man, the wine. Happily I'd forgotten what a hangover was. Now I remember. Ugh.

Man cold

So true!

Oh Cinderella

With the
bibbiddy-bobbiddy-booing
and such....
Really, a black choker? That's the best necklace you could wish up?

What with the blue and white gown and all, you'd think you could find something that matched a little better.

The headband I could do without and the gloves also are a bit much, but I can live with them. The choker, however, is the pits. It just isn't right.

This has always bothered me.

The poor thing

Our pal Jose Canseco just had his house go into foreclosure.

"You know my life, this financial thing, is a very complicated issue. Obviously, when you make all that money, people think, `OK, let's assume it is $35 million.' People have to understand that $35 million, you're paying the government 41 percent. That leaves you with about $17 or $18 million, not even. Then you're taking care of your whole family."

How the hell are you to take care of your whole family on $17 or $18 million? I ask you- is this how we want our former big leaguers to live their lives? What kind of country is this?

I mean, I need at least $25 million to keep this family afloat. And that's slummin' it a bit, you know.

Cripes.