It's my kids in a box.

"Step 1- Cut a hole in the box. Step 2- Put your kids in that box. Step 3- Make her open the box. And that is how you do it..."

I knew this day would come...

Yes, she dresses herself now.

Seen pictured:

*Pink, stretched out cat shirt with spaghetti stains

* Black shorty-shorts

* Horrifying Strawberry Shortcake light-up shoes bought as emergency shoes in the Palatine Wal-mart.

* Pink glitter headband, worn over the hair (the only way she likes to wear headbands. Most times she puts it so low on her forehead that it pushes her eyes closed.)

It's a very "Sweatin' to the Oldies/ Jazzercise" look, n'est pas?

We need to watch some Project Runway, stat. I'd hate to hear what legendary American fashion designer Michael Kors would say about this look.

Back to school

Weird thing about being on (permanent) maternity leave. The whole "Back To School!" marketing blitz still gives me the shivers. I guess this will be the first September since preschool when I won't be going back to school, yea now on 31 years or so. As a student, one can understand the dread of it all. But what I always explain to my students is that teachers feel it too. "Unlike you, we actually get paid to stay at home for the summer. So boo hoo for me too."

There's a lot to miss. The new stuff- just like students, teachers get a lot of new crap too. Sure it might not be a brand spankin' new Trapper Keeper- but it's still cool. New signs, bulletin board supplies, name tags for the desks, professional books, reems and reems of wide ruled paper and notebooks, markers and a class list. A list of people you hope to influence in some positive way.

I'll miss the early morning drive; there's nothing like watching the sun come up over Lake Michigan while tooling down LSD with the cool breeze blowing and the music crankin'. I'll miss seeing my friends, although most of them have moved on to greener pastures after our school was taken over by the creepy-crawly- matching-colored-leather-suit ladies.

But mostly I'll miss the students. Yes, even though most of my day was spent dealing with discipline, fights, attitudes. Even though I spent most of my evenings spewing obscenities against them, sleepless nights thinking about them, after school crying about their lack of motivation and respect. There's still something joyous about having the big desk. To see the shock and disbelief on their faces when you explain that hamburgers are made out of cows.

NOOOOOO!

Yes, cows. And do you want to know where bacon comes from?

It's magical. And although most often news of my former students comes in the form of who was arrested for what and who was killed on the corner, I'd like to think that my years in CPS made some sort of positive impact on somebody. Bear with me here, this is a big chapter of my life I'm closing. I've probably laughed, cried, beat-my-head-against-the-wall more during my tenure here than I will have during any other part of my life.

I'm mourning. Excited for the future, but still mourning.

Lazy blogger

Things have been pretty hectic around here, as is the way things are I suppose. Had a chance to sneak away last week for a few days of R & R in the Wisconsin Dells. Since we had to change our plans due to Lake Delton disappearing, we ended up in one of the many waterpark resorts that the WATERPARK CAPITAL OF THE WORLD has to offer. ( I wonder if that's been proven...)

Well we had a great time. See, here I am with Woogie, all aquatic and shit. Little can you tell that I am actually floating in 1 foot of water, and even that made me seasick. Ahhh, it sucks getting old. I did try one of the crazy waterslides with my sister, and it was horrifying. Pitch black inside, with crazy music & then it dumps you into this toilet bowl/ circus tent-y thang. I can't remember when I've been so frightened & repulsed. The whole waterslide thing ain't for me.

Beanz had a great time though, somehow managing to enjoy the waterpark and not get her face wet. We went to Storybook Gardens, which is still there from when I was a tyke. Not much has changed; it's pretty broke-down, but in a great way. Mostly. They have added some poorly cared for animals, which was depressing, but mostly we enjoyed it. For the record, giraffes have very long purplish black tongues that are scary.

On a positive note, I left my Mother's Day present necklace in the hotel. And yeah, they're sending it to me! Score one for humanity!

This week we weathered the crazy storm and were left in the dark for a few days. That electricity, I tell ya. It's handy. I have to figure out how to get reimbursed for our groceries now.

Peace!